


Why did you Stay?

by Trololololoz (SillyWriterKidz)



Category: 3 Below, Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons), Trollhunters (Cartoon), Trollhunters - Daniel Kraus & Guillermo del Toro
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Steve Palchuk has self esteem issues, krel may have a crush on eli, steve and aja broke up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2020-09-24 00:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20349118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyWriterKidz/pseuds/Trololololoz
Summary: Krel has to know because by all accounts it just doesn't make sense. Why would he stay?Krel is curious, inquisitive, and when he wants to know something he will stop at nothing to get an answer. He learns that sometimes, it's not an answer he ever wanted to hear.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Word is a letter off from sword. and words is sword. And they hurt so much more because sometimes you don't even see them coming even after they are buried deep into your soul. 
> 
> this is very angsty. fair warning. 
> 
> no i won't watch season 2 of 3 below. This is just based on what I've heard and i love the idea of Steve tryna be like... Steve harrington and Krel is like Dustin. just Steve trying to be there for people since he didn't have anyone there for him.

"You want to ask me the real reason I didn't go," Steve didn't turn around to the boy he knew was standing in the doorway. They've been tiptoeing around this conversation ever since Aja and Eli left. Since the battle with Morando. Since that fucking cat and everything had to go back to "normal".

What was even _normal_ anyway?

Krel stood, shifting from one foot to the other, since in human guise. He wanted to know why Steve hadn't gone with Aja since it was only logical for him to go. Steve had said something about friends and family but from Krel's observations... Steve really... Didn't have any. Krel didn't care, not at first. He didn't like Steve.

At first.

At first, Steve was an annoying human boy who took his sister's attention away from their goal of getting off of this stupid rock and going home. Of saving... Mama and Papa. Krel shook his head, he didn't want to think about them right now. Thinking about everything made his mind hurt and when it hurt he would get _snappy_. He's snapped at his sister before, mostly after swallowing his emotions for too long.

He's snapped at Steve a lot. Mostly at the beginning.

After she left with Eli, Krel still had Mary and Toby and Darci and -_ugh_\- Steve. Steve, though, Steve was relentless. Coming over day after day asking how he was feeling and if he wanted to do something. If Krel said no Steve would nod and tell him he's up to talk whenever he wanted. Steve always looked so awkward doing this, rubbing his arms and stuttering over his words. Krel had never seen what his sister saw in Steve. Then again, if she saw something really worthwhile would she still have left?

That thought made Krel pause.

His eyes twitched and his head tilted slightly as he thought about it. Steve and Eli had been close friends if how Eli reacted over Steve not telling him about them was anything to go by. Eli was also friends with Toby. Steve was not friends with Toby it seemed. Eli had friends and loving parents. Aja had friends and Krel and Vex and Toby and Mary and Shannon and...

"You said because your life was here," Krel said slowly, "Your family and friends are here yet in the time I have spent here you have spent most of your time with Aja or Eli."

Steve didn't respond.

"I would not even know of your parents had you not called that man -Coach-" Krel corrected himself, "Dad. Even then it was awkward like you are not used to it."

Steve's shoulders hunched up.

"I have never seen your mother, you rarely speak of your home life," Krel was on a role, "You were not friends with most of the other students in school like Mary or Toby and I did not even know you and Seamus were friends until Toby told me you two used to bully together."

His head went down and Krel could tell he was hunched over, shoulders shaking.

"You do not speak to Coach with the same fondness I did with-" Krel stops mid-step, no not here- "Obviously something is amiss."

"Is there a point to this," There was such bite to the statement that Krel is visibly taken aback. Never has he heard Steve speak with such venom in his voice and sheer rage hidden under his breath. Even when Steve got angry at him and pushed him over it was almost like a quick annoyance. this... This was deep, something twisted.

Something scary.

Steve's words made Krel stop again. Was there a point to all this? Why had he bothered asking? Why did he care that Steve was here? That he hadn't gone with Aja to be the ambassador for her instead of Eli-

Eli.

He wanted Eli. He was friends with Eli. Not Steve. Eli was friends with the others. All of them could hang out and it was awkward like when Steve joined them. There wouldn't be awkward silences when Steve came up or the tension when he walked with them with a goofy smile. No awkward laughs at his stupid jokes or idiotic comments. No feeling guilty when he looked confused when they laughed only to realize he was genuine and that he thought his stupid comment was real. Eli wouldn't have been like that, his bright personality would override the tension.

There was a point, "Why didn't you go?"

"Eli volunteered."

"But you said no, Aja would have gone with you first if you had just accepted her proposal," Krel was annoyed, he felt that twist in his stomach he always felt around Steve because Steve was always fucking t h e r e, "She would not have even considered Eli! You lied! You don't have-"

Steve turned around. Krel felt his words die in his throat.

Krel was new to Earth. Their emotions were similar but the words were different, the manners were different, the cultures were so very different. So many things were different and Krel didn't know how to cope with it. Aja took to it like a bird in flight because that's just who she is. No wonder she went to be queen. No wonder his parents waited longer for her during the coronation instead of just going with their son. It hurt, it hurt that everything seemed to come easy to Aja and not to him.

Too logical, too cold, too precise. He spoke differently than others. Didn't always get what others meant and couldn't 'read a room' as Steve had explained to him.

His eyes widened a fraction. _Steve_. Steve had been coming over often to teach him different phrases. After Aja left Steve had tried to learn about Akaridion culture (he never said why but Krel remembered a comment Aja had made after a date). When Steve joined the group he would explain things to Krel and Krel always got annoyed at him. Steve had tried teaching him common Earth phrases and explained geography (not very well but he tried) when telling him where Jim had gone. It wasn't hard to see the distant look in Steve's face when Toby told him where he had gone.

Steve had told him that there were more to people than what they let on. To be careful with words because words hurt more than knives and guns and lasers and serrators. That didn't make any sense because he's been hit with those and those hurt. They burn and dig and ache and if one's not careful they can get infected. Krel hadn't understand it. Krel had ignored it, thought it was stupid. Thought Steve was trying to be philosophical.

Now he stared into teary brown eyes and a face that didn't look upset but... Tired. Like he was used to this. Expected this.

Friends.

Krel was going to say that Steve didn't have friends, not really. Not like him and Eli and Aja with everyone. Not like Toby with Jim and Claire. Steve didn't have a good relationship with his parents like Eli did with his or Jim with his mom. Steve didn't have that. When they first met Aja hated him but then she knocked him down a peg and he seemed to be following her like a lost puppy. Mary had made a comment once about his music taste. Soft and baby like, she had meant it as a joke. Shocked that Steve Palchuk, ex bully and lead sports star would listen to such silly music.

Comments about Steve. His stupidity. Aja had called him a big oaf and Krel had looked it up and it could be a term of endearment but could also be an insult. Usually for someone either sweet (for endearment) or big and stupid (for an insult). Words with double meanings. Phrases with double meanings. Actions with double meanings. That is what Steve had been trying to tell him about. That words can hurt because they can both insult and compliment and it's hard to tell which is which and they _ache _and you can't say anything. How had Steve reacted when Mary commented on his music? Did he laugh with them? He was so good at pretending. Why was he so good at pretending? What had made him so good at pretending?

"You're right," Steve's voice wavered and it hurt to hear because he's never heard Steve like this and he didn't know Steve could sound like this but, "I don't have friends. I am stupid with a stupid taste in music. I can be annoying and I don't usually get the jokes you all tell."

Krel didn't say anything as Steve continued.

"I don't have a good relationship with my parents," Steve wasn't looking Krel and Krel hated that he felt relieved, "There was a time, I think, that I did have one. Before dad started loving those bottles and stopped loving me. A time when my mom stuck around often and didn't make excuses to not be home."

Krel couldn't wrap his head around parents like that. His parents did bad things but they loved him at least.

"Dad finally ditched, mom dated Coach and honestly," Steve gave such a broken laugh, "He wasn't that great in the beginning. Yelled at me a lot so I thought he would just be like dad but worse since he did it sober. At least he was around, I gave him that. Then he started to try more after that coffee incident at school."

A broken sob, "I was so desperate to feel normal. Always knew something was wrong about me. Other kids talked about their parents with such love and excitement and I wanted to do that too. Parents made their kids lunches. Made sure they got home alright, were taken care of."

Krel hated that his first thought was to tell Steve shut up because he didn't want to hear this. Hated that a piece of him didn't _want_ to know, didn't _care_ to know.

"I wanted friends but I talked too much I guess," Steve shrugged again, "Then I got into a fight by accident and won. Suddenly these kids started talking to me. I was too stupid to realize they were insulting me the whole time."

He wiped his eyes, "And- and I could see why dad would shout because when kids made me angry and getting mad back felt good. It felt right but it would leave me so empty afterward. I had to keep doing it to feel better, to feel right, to feel something other than hatred for myself."

"So why did you stay," Krel shouted without thinking. He was curious and when things didn't make sense he wanted to know. Sometimes he went to far but he always got what Steve called 'tunnel vision' something Eli did too.

"Because I was worried about you," Steve words made Krel's eyes go wide, "I saw how you were. I was worried that you wouldn't do too well without your sister since she was more... extroverted? Is that the word? Yeah."

"I-I have more friends than you," Krel didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

Steve chuckled but he saw the shine in Steve's eyes, "I was worried they were going to be like my old 'friends'. Aja was gone and you lost your parents...I didn't want you to feel like you were alone. I wanted..."

Steve shook his head, "It was stupid- is stupid. I'm stupid for even thinking this."

"What did you want," Krel was too deep into this to not get the answers he needed.

"I wanted to-" Steve sighed and ran a hand through his hair- "I don't know- be like a big brother to you? I didn't want you to get angry like I did since I know you can snap at people, mostly me. I know you and Aja didn't get most of our slang like we don't get yours so I thought.. I thought we could relate on that and when I learned it then I could tell you."

Krel's eyes widened at Steve's confession. His mouth opened but no words came out.

"It was stupid I mean you're way smarter than me of course you would have no problem here," Steve wiped his eyes again, "I was stupid to think so little of you? I guess I wanted to feel helpful? But let's be real I would have been a terrible ambassador for Earth. Totally would've caused another war because I'm so stupid."

Krel just let him continue.

"I don't belong on Akaridion with Aja. We were eventually going to break up I could tell, and yeah that hurt but I mean I wouldn't blame her. She's smart and strong and beautiful and I'm...me? Plus, Eli would actually be able to learn your culture cause I mean, I still don't know Earth's and I was born here," Steve tried to play it like a joke but there was a hitch to his voice that made it sound like he wanted to cry.

"I don't belong anywhere," Steve wiped his eyes for a final time before turning around and getting on his Vespa, "Sorry for bugging you. I won't come over anymore or show up to your hangouts. I mean, that was kinda stupid of me in the first place."

And then he was gone. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Krel knows he fucked up but doesn't know how to talk about it. Toby tries to help fix it but finds out some terrible news

True to his word Steve stopped showing up. He answered texts with very short responses and never answered a call. Krel barely even saw him around but that didn't mean he stopped looking. He started noticing how others talk about him. Usually, he's not mentioned or even talked about, like a forgotten subject from their time at school.

He brings Steve up one day. It's been nearly 3 weeks since that night.

"I don't have Steve's number," Mary explains, showing her contacts.

"I blocked him," Darci shrugged.

"I don't think he knows I exist," Shannon offered with a shrug.

"Is something wrong," Toby is the only one to look concerned. His smile falls into a frown and his eyes hold a questioning look. Unlike Steve he was careful to not push Krel too much, offering constant communication but only with Krel initiated it. Krel appreciated it but he knew he would never use it, saw no need too, didn't want to bother Toby.

Maybe that's why Steve didn't stop. He knew Krel wouldn't come to him so he went to Krel.

"I... We- He," Krel stumbled over his words unsure of what to say, how to say it, "He...has not spoken to me in almost 3 weekss."

A chorus of what's and huhs and no ways were heard. Krel almost found it funny cause just a few seconds ago they didn't even notice. It's been 3 weeks and no one has fucking noticed.

Another thought hit Krel. It took him 3 weeks to just ask. Something could have happened to Steve in that time. What if something _had_ happened to Steve? What if that was the reason he hadn't been communicating with anyone? Oh god what if he was hurt? Krel felt something in him twist at the idea that Steve was hurt and he had just been ignoring it. Steve had just wanted to be someone helpful to Krel, he only wanted to help and Krel was just _ignoring_ it.

"Is he okay," Toby was the one to ask, looking at everyone.

Krel shook his head, "He is not I was stupid and told him he's friendless and he should have left with Aja and not Eli! I was- I was so..."

A hand went to his shoulder and Krel looked to see Toby's hand and then Toby, "That wasn't okay. You should go apologize. We can all go over his house after lunch, even bring him something."

No one answered, Krel only gave a look of terror, "I cannot do that after what I said!"

Toby sighed, "We are going, it's only fair since we ARE his friends, right?"

No one answered Toby. They all looked away to avoid eye contact. Toby huffed at that, completely shocked since they were all supposed to be apart of the Reckless Club. What had happened?

"I'm going to call his house and see if he's home," Toby's tone let no room for argument, "And then we're all going."

Toby got out his phone.

One ring

  
Two rings.

Three Rings.

"Hello," Coach picked up the phone.

"Hey Coach, is Steve there? We wanted to come by after we ate to talk to him," Toby said, still feeling awkward about talking to the man who made his high school gym life terrifying.

"Wh- He's with you guys isn't he? He told he was hanging out with you guys all day," Coach sounded confused, "Isn't that what you all have been doing? Hanging out like every day?"

"N-" Toby stopped, his eyes widening, "I'll call you back."

"Domzalski where is Palch-"

Toby looked at everyone and slowly shook his head, "We have a major problem."


	3. Those Mirror rooms aren't actually that fun when you have TRAUMA!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's fear during the pixie episode was made off to be a silly joke but it honestly says a lot about him. Steve still has a hard time looking at mirrors and not thinking it's another him. He's mostly been able to lock it up but the fight with Krel, Aja and Eli leaving, and no one looking for him is bringing up those feelings in inferiority back up with a vengeance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning:  
-lots of self loathing  
-vague implication of suicidal thoughts   
-someone get Steve some therapy

Steve gets up to brush his teeth. It was just a few days (or weeks, Steve doesn’t know) after the…  _ thing  _ that happened with Krel. Steve doesn’t want to talk about it, doesn’t want to think about it. The bathroom light clicks on and the small dinky bathroom connected to his room is illuminated in all it’s ‘A teenage boy lives here’ goodness. Some empty bottles of hair gel littered the floor along with some clothes. Other than that it was.. Relatively clean. Hair gel was the only thing in excess and seemed to be the only real thing that was thrown about without a care. Steve noticed he was out. 

He would have to get more. 

_ “The Real Steve Palchuk wouldn’t have forgotten to get more.”  _

Steve froze mid brush at the voice. His eyes widen as the memories of what happened at school came flooding back. Steve hissed and tried to send them back into whatever dark hole he sends all the bad things he doesn’t want to remember. Instead, he just heard laughter. 

His laughter. 

_ “I’m the Real Steve Palchuk. I would have gone with her.”  _

Steve bites back a cry as he spits out the rest of his toothpaste, trying to go through his normal routine. He keeps his head down as there is a mirror over his sink just like there is in most bathrooms. He knows if he looks he will see something. 

_ “Wimp, the Real Steve Palchuk would look.”  _

Steve looks, the face looking back at him is his own but better. No bags under his eyes that he hid under his mother’s concealer (that she never noticed was missing) and his hair still in perfect condition. Steve’s hair was always a mess that his mom used to always gel up to keep perfect. Steve kept it perfect so his mom wouldn’t fuss, so his dad would be proud he wasn’t a hooligan. No long hair, no hair out of place, his old trademark smirk plastered on his perfect face, nothing that looked off.

_ “Pfft- I don’t even need gel, that just proves I’m the Real Steve.”  _

“You’re not! I’m the real Steve Palchuk,” Steve shouted at the mirror, “Me! Not you!” 

_ “If you were Eli would’ve stayed.”  _

_ “He wouldn’t have ditched you without a second thought.” _

_ “Didn’t you see how quick he was to get away from you?”  _

_ “What about Aja?”  _

_ “You treated her wrong. The Real Steve would have treated her right so she would ahve stayed.”  _

Steve was covering his ears from all the voices that sounded just like his own but better, somehow, “Shut up! She had to go back to lead her people!” 

_ “Krel could have, he was the one who had been crowned first after all.”  _

“He wanted to stay for us,” Steve snarled. 

_ “For them, not you.” _

_ “Why would he stay for a fake Steve?” _

_ “He probably stayed for Mary.”  _

_ “Now he would stay for the Real Steve. Not a fake like you.”  _

“I AM THE REAL STEVE,” Steve felt fear bubble up in him and it showed itself like it always did. Through his fists. Shards of the mirror flew from where he punched it, most jabbing itself into his knuckles that bled. Steve kept screaming over and over as he continued to punch the mirror, only making more shards and in turn, more reflections of him. Now more voices joined in the taunts and Steve felt the fight leave him. 

He fell to the floor, “I’m the real Steve. Me.” 

_ “The Real Steve wouldn’t even doubt it.”  _

“I don’t,” Steve let out a soft sob, his fists burning and throbbing but he couldn’t move. 

_ “The Real Steve would actually be strong. Not get knocked out by a simple hit from an alien.”  _

_ “The Real Steve would be useful.” _

_ “Smart.”  _

_ “Not a blemish that Coach has to go get medicine for. Can’t even take care of yourself.”  _

_ “Handsome.” _

_ “Would actually have a not so -ugh- creepy smile.”  _

“Shut up,” Tears fell from Steve’s eyes, “Sht up shut up shut up. She liked me. Eli invited me over. They liked me.” 

_ “Not enough to stay.” _

_ “Or even say goodbye.”  _

Steve started to bang his head against the porcelain sink, hoping that somehow it would get the voices out of his head. Everything hurt but all Steve felt was tired. They were right. He wasn’t the real Steve. The real Steve would still have his real dad and a mom who actually cares about his thoughts. The Real Steve would be someone people would want to be around and stay for, not ditch. The Real Steve would have good music taste that wouldn’t be made fun of. 

He’s not the real Steve. He doesn’t even know who he is. 

_ “You’re worthless, that’s what you are.”  _

It’s funny how his own voices could say the same things his dad used to say. He must be one of those changeling things Toby told him about. His dad must’ve known he wasn’t his real son which is why he did what he did. He’s not the Real Steve Palchuk. The Real Steve Palchuk is probably somewhere else, being loved and cared for. He must have actual friends who care about him, check up on him when he’s hurt. Must have a real girlfriend who wants to be around him and actually calls every once in a while. 

He’s not the real Steve Palchuk.

_ “You’re expendable. The only thing you’re good for is being used.”  _

He remembers the cat, the end of the world is coming. Maybe he could be useful. Or he could fuck it all up. 

A sigh escapes his lips as he starts to clean up the broken mirror pieces. He wishes the real Steve was here. 

The mirror is still broken as he leaves it. Coach doesn’t go into his room. His mom hasn’t even attempted since he was 7. They won’t notice. They never notice since they’re too busy wrapped up in each other. The Real Steve wouldn’t be jealous. Instead the fake Steve is and leaves the house, texting Coach another lie that he’s with the friends he doesn’t have. A life he doesn’t have. He goes into the forest, just outside of view and sits there. For hours. 

It was stupid but he started to bring out printer paper and started doing something on it. He could never sit still for long. Such a fake that he had ADHD. The Real Steve wouldn’t. 

Today he wanted to draw the tree in front of him. The Real Steve would never do something so silly. But he’s a fake so he’s going to do it. Just prove how much of a fucking mistake and mess he is. 

He hopes that he’ll find the Real Steve one day. His life must be wonderful since he’s so perfect. It hurts being fake all the time, being reminded of what you’re not, what you don’t have. Steve closes his eyes, planning on just sleeping there and hoping some animal decides to eat him so he can at least be useful to them. 

Instead, he’s awoken hours later to a very concerned Toby Domzalski and a very bright flashlight. Steve’s surprised the heavy rain and loud thunder didn’t wake him but oh well. 

The Real Steve would have never been caught in the rain or lead back to his house by Domzalski of all people. He would never need to be checked on by Jim’s mom who probably thinks he’s even more of a knucklehead than before. She probably thinks he’s a danger to himself by how stupid he is. Steve doesn’t like it. Everyone is around him, Krel looks upset. The Real Steve would have never let Krel be upset. 

She’s talking to him, Dr. Lake, she’s holding his hands. She must be asking about them. Steve doesn’t respond, he knows she’s talking to him but the words are muted and his eyes won’t move from where they are focused. He’s not here. Not really, he can see what’s going on but from another part of his brain it feels like. The hideyhole where the fake Steve goes. The Real Steve jumps into action and laughs shrugging off their concerns and says he wanted to train up. Fought a tree and it lost. 

The Real Steve is strong. 

The Real Steve makes no mistakes. 

The Real Steve is attractive.

The Real Steve is someone people want to be around. 

The Real Steve has good music taste. 

The Real Steve isn’t a knucklehead. 

The Real Steve is better. 

The Real Steve is smarter. 

The Real Steve isn’t him. Will never be him. 

  
  


It’s Toby who asks, “Steve, why are you crying?” 

And Steve just starts laughing, and crying. 

He’s fake. That’s all he’ll ever be. He’s never been real, never been a real person. Always fake. Always trying to be The Real Steve but never being able to perfectly get there. He’s a disgrace, a mistake. He thought he saw something in Krel and wanted to help him but really he just saw himself. The fake him. Talking to Krel helped remind him that Krel wasn’t fake, he knew what he was about and what he wanted. Krel was real. Toby was real. Everyone was real but him. 

It hurts. Everything hurts. At some point, he’s being knocked out. Something about getting hysterical. He sees the fear on all their faces. They must finally realize he’s the fake and the real Steve is missing. That he’s replaced him. They must be so worried about him. He wants that but he doesn’t deserve it. He took the Real Steve’s place after all. He doesn’t deserve their concerns. 

The Real Steve does. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy halloween fuckers go cry


	4. Krel gets talkin too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they find Steve

Krel stared at the blonde who slept on Toby’s couch. 

He was still wrapping his head around the fact that this was  _ Steve.  _ The same Steve that never seemed to run out of energy when it came to being around Krel. The same Steve that was always up for helping him and his sister out no matter what, always there for them. Krel found himself shaking his head. That proud, obnoxious, and somewhat nice, idiot could not be this… This…

He found himself swallowing spit down. Trying not to cry. 

The person in front of him had bags under his eyes and his skin was paler than Krel remembered it. That usually perfectly and overly gelled hair was unkempt and had flyaways everywhere. His breathing was ragged and he was piled under so many blankets because he was so  _ cold.  _ Mother made their bodies perfectly match that of an Earthling so he knew what the regular temp of a body was supposed to be. 

Steve was far below it. Close enough that when they found him passed out in the forest his lips had begun to turn blue. Humans are not supposed to be blue! It is not natural and only means bad things. 

“I did this,” Krel whispered to himself. 

“No, honey, you didn’t,” A voice he hadn’t expected to hear answered his words. 

He turned to the person in question only to be greeted with the gentle smile of Nana Domzalski. She had a plate of freshly baked triple chocolate chip cookies, a glass of milk, and some more blankets. She had Toby put on a heated one first since they didn’t know if a weighted blanket might make Steve panic. When he wasn’t getting any warmer they started adding more blankets. 

“If I had not had said anything,” Krel shook his head, “I should have kept my mouth shut.” 

“And if you hadn’t none of us would have known how badly hurt he really is,” Nana said, “It hurts but he hid it from all of you. Sometimes the only way to get someone to open up is to confront them about it.” 

Krel wiped the tears that threatened to fall with his shirt sleeve, “I- I do not like how this feels. I do not like how he looks, he is not supposed to look like that!” 

Nana sighed softly and put the plate down, putting her arm on Krel’s arm gently, “My Tobypie told me what you said. That was not okay of you, Krel. You need to apologize.” 

“I know that! I know and everything is making me feel worse why do I feel so bad,” Krel kept wiping at his eyes. 

“Because you care,” Nana smiled a knowing smile, “Because you care about him. You care about Steve even though you don’t think so.”

“But- but,” Krel didn’t know what to say, why did he keep trying to deny it? 

“But what, dear,” Nana asked, honestly confused at the boy’s reaction. 

“But Aja- she cares more cause they dated and- and-” Krel ran his hands through his hair- “And he- he’s always there and I know he told me he was trying to help me but I do not understand him-” 

“Like you understood that other boy, right,” Nana said what Krel left upspoken. 

Krel stopped, his shoulders slumping, “I told him I wish it had been him that went with Aja, not Eli.” 

“That wasn’t a very nice thing to say, dearie,” Nana didn’t sound like she was scolding him but it still hurt all the same. 

“I didn’t mean to be mean! I just- I just pointed it out because he kept showing up and everyone was always quieter or annoyed around him so I just-” What did he want? Did he want Steve to leave? To never return? 

“Just said what you thought without thinking of the repercussions,” Nana finished for him. 

Krel found himself falling to his knees. He hurt Steve. It didn’t matter if he didn’t mean to he should still apologize and he  _ hates  _ that he knows Steve will forgive him. Steve will. It hurts knowing that Krel could give him the shittiest apology and Steve will take it and just roll with it. Krel could still act horrible to him and Steve will just accept it with that same smile. That smile always looked the same but it was all  _ pretend  _ because Steve is  _ so good  _ at pretending. 

How long has he been pretending? 

Krel raised his head up just a bit to look at the sleeping boy and thought ‘who has he been pretending to be?’ Who was the real Steve Palchuk? He was so good at acting when needed that no one would notice anything different. How long has he done that? Acted for whatever the situation called for. It baffled Krel’s mind since he had always just acted as how he wanted to act, never thinking of what would be the best way unless needed. He always was just...him. That’s all he can be. So…

Who was Steve then? Did Steve know? 

Why did Steve hide it? What had happened? 

Slowly, Krel brought himself closer to Steve and put his head on his chest. He could hear the other’s heartbeat and that brought him… comfort. He just wanted to be sure cause Steve was so still and so quiet, two words he would never associate with Steve Palchuk. Steve was always moving, always talking. The boy could never seem to settle down and focus on something for too long before running off somewhere else. If he had one project he would start another and then another before going back to the first one, or abandon them altogether. There’s so much more to Steve than Krel thought now that he actually looked. He wondered how many times people have overlooked Steve as he did? How many times did he want people to overlook him?

“Get better or else I’m going to be mad at you,” Krel mumbled from where he laid his head. He crossed his arms under it and closed his eyes, finally letting sleep take him. He had been so worried about Steve and everything that he hadn’t slept. 

Nana put a blanket on Krel as well. 


	5. Surprise Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa it's done  
finally Stoby

The world is still spinning, still ending. That weighs heavily on Toby’s mind when he walks in the next morning to find Krel asleep in a very uncomfortable kneeling position and his head on Steve’s chest. During some time in the night Steve either woke up or subconsciously did it, but he brought out his hand and it was in Krel’s hair. Honestly, if Toby didn’t know any better about the two idiots in front of him he would say it’s adorable. 

But he did know better. 

“Why isn’t he waking up,” Toby asked to himself mostly, not expecting an answer. 

“I don’t know but we need to get you all started with training,” Archie the fucking demon bastard familiar asshole cat appeared. 

“He obviously needed rest leave us alone the world can hold on for one fucking second,” Toby snapped at Archie, careful not to raise his voice too loud, “We’re just kids after all.”

“In war, there is no such thing as children,” Archie said without a fucking care, “Just smaller soldiers.”

Toby snapped his head at the cat and just stared at him with a mix of shock and disgust. How  _ dare  _ he say that. How dare he even think of it. They were kids with hopes and dreams to actually grow up and this fucking CAT has the audacity to just… say  _ that? _ Toby couldn’t believe his ears. 

“You know I’ve killed a cat before,” Toby stared directly at the cat, “And I can and will do it again,”

“Duly noted,” It sounded like the cat didn’t care. 

Nana came in and moved the cat away. Toby figured she may have thought the cat was like all her other ones. Toby didn’t tell her any different as he wanted the cat to go away. Archie was a bitch. He was probably Merlin or Morgana’s familiar. He would have to alert the others to keep an eye on what Archie said and did.

“What time is it,” Toby’s head spun to look at Steve who was rubbing his tired eyes. 

Toby went over and sat down next to Steve, “Careful, you’ve been asleep for like 14 hours or something,” 

Steve almost sat right up before noticing that Krel was there He stared in shock at the sight before slightly turning his head to Toby for some sort of explanation. 

HE shrugged, “Nana says he got like that a few hours ago. He hasn’t been sleeping very well because or reasons he’ll tell you.”

“Is he sick? Is he hurt,” Steve shot off question after question, Did I do something? Do I need to call Aja or Eli? Do they know?”

“Whoa whoa! Hold on-“ Toby raised his arms to get Steve to calm down, “He’s fine. IT’s your we’re worried about. You looked so bad out there and it really scared us.”

“I mean,” Archie appeared once again near Steve, “He was bad before but none of you seemed to care enough to notice.” 

“Hey,” Toby went to shoo the cat off but he jumped onto Steve’s lap and stayed there, “That’s not true. I sent plenty of texts asking him if he’s okay!”

“And yet you never went to check on him physically,” Archie licked his paw, “Nor call, or even bring him up for three weeks.”

“That-“ Toby didn’t have a retort. 

“None of you children did,” Archie stretched, “So I took the liberty of occupying his time with training him. He’s quite powerful, you know. Maybe even more so than Morgana or Merlin.” 

“I’m what?”

“He’s what?

“A wizard,” Archie chuckled at the coincidence, “You’re a wizard, a powerful one at that” 

“You said I sucked,” Steve frowned. 

“You do,” Archie chuckled, “You have no training nor restraint so actually  _ using  _ that power is… welll… useless for now.”

“You’ve been training this whole time,” Toby looked to Steve again, “Without telling us?”

“I- “ Steve started before being interrupted by Archie. 

“He felt like he needed to get better to make you guys like him,” Archie started licking his shoulder, “He needed to be better because he thinks people only like him for his abilities and not personality.”

Toby looked to Steve only to see Krel awake too. He looked at Steve with big, teary eyes, “Don’t think that about yourself! I am sorry for what I said and how I acted, I should be better! Just please do not ever do that again! Please, I cannot stand to see you like that again!” 

“You were just curious-”

“I was rude! You warned me and tried to teach me and I thought I was better but I was not,” Steve was taken aback but Kre’s outburst, “You are very kind.”   
  
Steve blinked, “I literally punched you when I first met you.”

“I attacked you first.”

“I shoved Eli in lockers and stole his lunch money and made him do my school work,” Steve continued, “I called Lake and Domzalski names, I acted like a douche.”

“Acted,” Toby butted in, “Past tense. You’ve more than made up for it, dude.”

“No, I haven’t! I haven’t made up for it I still act like a dick and I still have these,” Steve looked like he was going to tear his hair out but stopped, his hands shaking, “These urges to hit things! I thought it I worked myself I would get better, I would be better and make up for all the horrible shit I’ve done!” 

“STEVE,” Toby put his hands on Steve’s face and forced him to look at him, “You had a horrible dad and a bad group of friends. Not only that but when you had panic attacks or acted differently kids called you names. I stomped on your arm and so did the others when Jim knocked you out! I saw you nursing that arm for a week!”

The blonde was silent for a moment before going, “... Kids called me names?”

Toby stared at him in confused shock, “...y-yeah?”

“I didn’t know that,” Steve whispered to himself. 

“I remember hearing that,” Krel said before he thought better of it, “Wasn’t it… Psycho Steve? PalChump?”

“Psycho…” Steve looked at Toby who wouldn’t look him in the eye, “Oh… I mean… I guess I was kinda crazy.” 

“No it was rude and stupid of us,” Toby said, “You’re pretty chill and I’ve dealt with some crazies. Strickler literally almost killed Jim’s mom and now they’re raising kids together.” 

“She has poor choice in men.”

Steve snorted at Krel’s comment. Toby did too. The redhead found himself sitting on the ground next to Steve so they were nearly eye level. It was nice like this and Steve had a soft smile on his lips and his eyes were crinkling up. The best thing was he looked  _ healthy  _ and not at all awful. His lips were that soft pink and his cheeks had a slight rosy hue from laughing. Those big brown eyes that were just a pretty hue and so unlike the others with brown eyes. Toby thought those brown eyes were so expressive and he swore they changed color. Toby’s eyes widened. Oh no, he’s staring. 

“Is something on my face,” Steve asked with a slight head tilt and Toby almost whined at. 

“Toby why do you have the same face Steve had on whenever he looked at my sister when they were dating,” Krel asked because the boy still does not know how to think before he fucking speaks. 

“Wait, what,” Steve looked to Krel then to Toby who quickly averted his eyes. 

Archie let out a loud laugh, “This is too much. At least I get some entertainment before the world ends.”

Those cheeks got even rosier and Steve stumbled over his words, “Y-you, that’s not right Domzalski likes Scott! Not me…”

They watched as steve seemed to deflate, “I wouldn’t be a good person to like anyway…”

He had to do something about this he couldn’t let Steve fall into that hole again. Toby was never one to think before he acted so he threw caution to the wind, grabbed Steve’s face…

And kissed him. 

On. The. Lips. 

Steve stared straight ahead in shock as Toby pulled back, face bright red and panting. 

After a few seconds, Steve spoke though it sounded high pitched, “D-Did-” He cleared his throat to save face- “Did you kiss me because I was sad?”

Toby looked away, “Y-yeah?”

There was a moment of silence before, “I’m feeling sad again.”

“Wh- Oh,” Toby got what Steve was hinting at and gently pulled him into another kiss. Krel groaned and stuck out his tongue in mock disgust but inside he was happy. This might be good for the both of them, Steve mostly. Maybe they could really make it through. 

Archie chuckled. He was wondering when this would happen. After all, Toby looked an awful lot like Arthur and Steve had the same blonde hair like a certain queen. But then again, who was Archie to say who was who. Hopefully, now the kids would focus on actually trying to save the world. 

Maybe. 

Hopefully. 

“Don’t you two need to breathe?”

...Well, the Earth had a good run.

**Author's Note:**

> rip me


End file.
